Contrary to popular belief, breaking up is usually just as difficult for the person leaving as it is for the person staying. In this article, we’ll give you some free tips for breaking while limiting breakage…
Tip #1: Don’t for a second consider breaking into virtual
By breaking into virtual mode, we mean by message, on social networks, by registered letter or by carrier pigeon, it doesn’t matter! It’s a common sense rule that everyone knows (usually), but we still prefer to insist… Sometimes, when we know very well that the breakup is going to be delicate, it is very tempting to hide behind the screen of your phone and This way you avoid super embarrassing confrontations between four eyes… BUT if you respect the person you are going to break up with, if you respect the relationship they have shared, take courage in both hands and break up in real life. The equation is simple, with real relationship, real break.
The exception that proves the rule…
Of course, if the person you want to break up with has put you down and disrespected you, it stands to reason that you’re not committed to anything. Take good care of yourself and don’t be shy about sending him an escaped carrier pigeon. No, but oh, don’t push Grandma into the nettles.
Tip #2: If it helps, write your breakup words on paper
If writing is a great tool for recovering from a breakup, it’s also a great tool for breaking up. If you don’t know how to tell him the thing, if your ideas are mixed up, take the time to write down what you want to tell him, now to see it more clearly. This will allow you to get out what’s on your mind and choose what you want to say or not say to avoid awkwardness…
Tip #3: Be honest…but not hurtful
By “do no harm”, we mean: “do no harm unnecessarily”. It may seem obvious, and yet the nuance between the two is sometimes so thin at the time… it’s hard to find the middle ground.
Let’s take a concrete example. If you’re leaving her because you met someone else, don’t hide it from her. Obviously, this will inevitably hurt her, it’s inevitable. But it is preferable that you discover it with your own eyes or learn it from someone else. She would probably take it for insincerity, or worse, a betrayal. HOWEVER , do not add more. Don’t tell him the details of your meeting, it would be unnecessarily hurtful. Do you see the hue? To help him find the middle ground, you need to put yourself in his shoes. This will definitely help you see more clearly what you need to say to him and the items that are better left unsaid.
Tip #4: If there are problems, don’t give up
It is very possible that the person you have decided to leave is offended by what you are about to say. For ego, it cannot be ruled out that it gives you two or three bad things… Do not fool yourself! And this, although what she throws at you is hard to hear. She is just trying to hurt you as much as you did. Stay dignified and show empathy.
Tip #5: Don’t drown in guilt
Empathizing does not mean drowning in guilt. You may feel guilty… but keep in mind that the person you’re leaving with can’t blame you for doing so. If, after careful consideration, you have come to the conclusion that their paths should go their separate ways, it is not for nothing. How many couples stay together for fear of loneliness or lack of courage? How many fall into infidelity instead of plucking up courage and leaving? Deciding to leave when you no longer want to continue is making the choice of respect. Respect for yourself, for others and for the relationship you have shared.
Tip #6: Avoid social media for a while…
After you break up, avoid social media for a while out of respect for the person you just left. When I say «avoid social networks», it means not to tell/show your life, without obviously talking about the Where to Break story like «I have fun at night», avoid all posts, even those that seem innocuous to you. Social networks are real tricks. If this seems trivial to you, we can assure you that it will not be for her. The message sent will be “look how good I feel without you”. That would drive home the point… Don’t do that.
And you, how did you experience your last breakup? Tell us in comments…