It is not always easy to make the desire last in a couple and maintain a satisfying sexuality when you have been with your partner for a while. The routine, the lack of time, the hassles of everyday life and the feeling of having gone through the whole sexual thing together can really weigh on your relationship and completely extinguish your libido.
However, everyone knows that sex is one of the main cement of the couple and therefore it is crucial to rekindle the flame within your partner, to avoid resentments, conflicts, but also the temptation to look the other way, which it is the easy solution for a third of the French.
The tips that we are going to share with you in this article come from our own experience, but also from sexologists who have studied the sexual lives of women. long time couples They will help you get your libido back, change your relationship to sex, but also break the routine to rediscover the desire you had for each other at the beginning of your relationship.
The first step to regaining a fulfilling life with your partner is to have reasonable expectations. In fact, it is perfectly normal that you have less desire to make love and that your desire is not at its peak, like when you met. And finally, desire is still essentially a fickle feeling, which experiences important fluctuations, so you should not be too alarmed, at the risk of reinforcing your block or upsetting your partner.
If you have been with your partner for a long time, it is normal for a routine to settle , and that the emotional security that you feel with each other has replaced the passion of the beginning. This should not lead you to question your partner, nor the love they feel for each other, because many times they are two completely different things. So, before moving on to the tips that will allow you to spice up your sex life, just accept these periods of hibernation, as long as they don’t last too long.
The secret to a fulfilling sex life is simple: communication about your partner, to try different things, but also to rekindle desire within your partner. If you want to find a more intense sexual rhythm, you should first discuss it with your girlfriend. Try to make her understand that she needs to find the desire from her early relationship, but also to understand why she might have less desire to make love right now.
Sometimes, you will simply be worried about something other than your partner (at work, for example). And talking about it will downplay your recent journey through the sexual wilderness.
By communicating more, you’ll be able to share your fantasies and take your sexual relationships to a whole new playing field, which could help rekindle the flame within your relationship. Discuss together new places, new positions to make love. And above all, let yourself be surprised by what excites your partner, so that she can also flourish sexually.
The worst advice that could be given to a long time couple who wanted to find a fulfilling sex life would be to force themselves! You risk rushing your partner, and losing what little desire you had left to make love together. If he does not press things , however it is true that as in many things, he is practicing how the flavor is recovered. The longer you wait before sleeping together again, the more difficult it will be to overcome the block that has developed between you. So try to slowly get back to a report every 15 days (at least!) and then every week.
And if your partner lacks desire, take even more care with foreplay, and focus on their pleasure. Oral sex (cunnilingus), sex toys, or even erotic scenarios (which can start while you’re still at work, exchanging «sexts») can easily revive your sexual appetite.
And since sex is not just a matter of physical contact, finding a libido and desire within your partner goes through romance as well. Do not forget to say «I love you», show the love and affection you feel for each other, and know how to recreate a romantic atmosphere before moving to the horizontal position.
It sounds like a cliché for many men, but lighting candles, giving her a massage, taking a bath for two or improvising a striptease can do a lot for your sexual life as a couple, and rekindle a flame that has faded over time.